Heartstyles blog

The Power of Values: How They Shape and Drive Behavior


Debbie Halliday – Accredited Heartstyles Associate & Coach

Talking about values is not a complicated or confusing thing. It’s quite simple. You do what you value. Many people claim to have some great values like honesty, health and fitness, or family, but when you look at their habits and behaviors there is very little to substantiate these claims.

You can’t say you value honesty if you are not always honest – perhaps when it’s your reputation on the line, you are quite willing to cover up the truth or tell a few ‘’white’’ lies (if there is such a thing). So, if it's honesty versus reputation, you choose reputation. You value your reputation more than honesty.

Another example is all those who claim health and fitness as a value yet only grace the gym once every 6 months. Or eat healthy options once in a blue moon. You have all kinds of excuses why reality doesn’t match your value. It’s work, or it’s the kids, or it's your partner, or it's cold or you are exhausted… you value comfort and pleasure more than health and fitness.

If you value family but never spend time with them, you don’t value them. If you always work long hours and go out with friends or go off and do your own thing, you value those things more than your family.

It’s that simple. You do what you value.

Can values be aspirational? Yes, but then differentiate and say these are my aspirational values. They’re not true for me, yet.

Can you shift your values? Change them? Of course, it requires a strong ''why'' to motivate the shift or change. It won’t work if you feel you are doing it because it’s the ‘’right thing’’ to do, if it's what someone else expects, or if all your friends are doing it. To change your values, you would need a change of heart about the issue.

Let’s use the health and fitness example. Perhaps you finally understand that to live a long and suffering-free life, you can eat for health, build some muscle to strengthen your bones, develop some flexibility, and get your heart muscles strong through cardio. Your fear of dying young or suffering into old age, not seeing your grandchildren grow up, or missing out on adventures can motivate the change in value. Your new ''why'' can be stronger than your current desire for comfort and pleasure. You can change any value if you have a strong enough ''why''.

To get to a strong enough ''why'', your unconscious beliefs about the issue may need a change. To change your unconscious beliefs, first discover what they are. Then, rewire your brain. It’s called neuroplasticity. And it’s very real and very powerful. Once you’ve changed your thinking, your emotions and feelings about the issue will also change. Your motivation for doing something begins to change. Your ‘’why’’ becomes more powerful.

Can you do this on your own? You could try, but I suspect you might get a bit stuck. That’s where I come in. As a Brain Coach, I can help you identify your real values, which ones you want to change, and what your unconscious beliefs around the issue are, help you rewire your beliefs, change your thinking, and change your behavior or habits to align with your values.

How will this benefit you? Your levels of internal stress will decrease, as you align your behaviors with your values. You will feel a sense of freedom and peace, you will have greater clarity of mind, you will feel less confused, overwhelmed, and guilty, and have more energy to live your best life.

Ready to start your own Heartstyles journey? Contact us.